


Mei-Ling Zhou, Lena Oxton, and the Journal of Secrets

by blue_roses



Series: freeze! and don't go too fast! [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Romance, more pick me up lesbeans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7416469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_roses/pseuds/blue_roses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whatever awkwardness you see in yourself clearly doesn’t affect Tracer, she’ll message you with blurry images and grinning selfies in places you know you’d need to wear the dress she got you. You never had much time for closet replenishment, and you always need to pack light, so it wouldn’t surprise you if she knows that is the only thing for warm weather you own. In a sense, you do hope she does, and that when she says she wishes you were here, she imagines you in that black dress watching the sunrise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mei-Ling Zhou, Lena Oxton, and the Journal of Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> oops i did it again, feat the cutest rarepair and me writing while sick. i hope yall enjoy!! C:

  “The Journal of Secrets”, is what Tracer calls it. You continued to insist it was simply hex editing under images in your online journal, it wasn’t a secret, even though you only sent the keys to Tracer, anyone could figure it out if they had time. Though you’re glad no one has told you you wrote your own versions of love letters under images of snow capped mountains. But in your defense, there is something romantic about snowy mountains, the sun illuminating the white of the snow, shining to show areas untouched and unknown. 

   You have always been in love with the idea of exploration, it is what made you choose climatology, to learn about the eco watchpoints. Apparently that’s what Tracer admires about you, when she told you how amazing you were. Through messages and comments, Tracer tells you, repeatedly, that you make her want to explore. When you ask where, Tracer simply sends a “;) anywhere u like luv” and it takes you at least five minutes to realize exactly what she meant. You aren’t used to the idea of being touched, not after 10 years, and you were far too busy to view yourself as desirable in that way. It simply wasn’t in your radar, but you enjoy the way your face flushes when you think of her.

   Far off admiration doesn’t seem to cut it any more, and you’re not quite sure what to do with that realization. The two of you  _ kissed _ , and did a bit more than that, really. But a weekend turned into a day and a half when Tracer was pulled into a mission, and you were left alone. You had fun, yes, but she wishes they had enough time to figure out what this all meant. You weren’t good at the dating game before all this, and 10 years in cryostasis change a lot, but this wasn’t one of them. 

   Whatever awkwardness you see in yourself clearly doesn’t affect Tracer, she’ll message you with blurry images and grinning selfies in places you know you’d need to wear the dress she got you. You never had much time for closet replenishment, and you always need to pack light, so it wouldn’t surprise you if she knows that is the only thing for warm weather you own. In a sense, you do hope she does, and that when she says she wishes you were here, she imagines you in that black dress watching the sunrise. 

_ Ah,  _ you really didn’t know what to do about this! Especially when you’re working and journaling, and she’s off being a hero. The only thing you can manage to do is create hidden messages under and give her the key. But somehow, it becomes too simple. You know Tracer is clever, there’s no way she could be the hero she is if that isn’t the case. You want her to get  _ past  _ something, give her the message without the key. She’ll find it, you hope she will.

  You aren’t too personal in your journals, and although you’ve never considered yourself a secretive person, you’ve always been a little private. No, you spend a long time writing, and it isn’t for a journal entry, or for the photo (you’ve always been a good photographer). After you make the post, you send Tracer a simple message to indicate her resources are limited.

_ Let’s see you get past  _ **_this!_ **

 Tracer certainly does have a competitive streak, she tells you since you both are  _ finally  _ in the same time zone, that she’ll totally have this finished by tomorrow. It’s just after 1 AM, and you send a mindless  _ we’ll see :).  _ You hope she won’t ask you why you’re awake, because she already knows you wake up at around 3-4 in the morning each day.  She asks, and you try to ignore the way you tense up. You’re glad you can’t see you like this.

**Tracer:** mei luv didnt u tell me u were waking up at 3 today, ik u got beauty covered, but that doesn’t mean u shldnt get rest!! >:c

**Mei:** You flatter me! But I must have lost track of time, I was figuring out some equations which I finally solved, they were a-Mei-zing!!!

**Tracer:** i cant believe u did tht it was so adorable i forgive it 4 being bad

**Mei:** I think it was pretty COOL, just like me!

**Tracer:** o my gOD!!!! u HAVE to sleep now luv!! ...i have an excuse cause jet lag but i want u to b awake when i solve this!!!

**Mei:** Alright then, goodnight!!! I am looking forward to what you come up with!!

**Tracer:** gnight luv!! <33 and sleep for more than 2 hrs aight?

 You smile at that, even though you know for yourself that you can’t sleep for more than five. Maybe it’s the cryostasis, or the nightmares, but you’ve lost a lot of the pleasure you used to have for uncontrolled sleep. When you have it, you keep it limited. Just because you were lucky enough to survive doesn’t mean you don’t carry their weight. You know you’ll honor them, and you don’t need REM sleep to remind you of that in the worst way possible.

 You close your eyes, and hope you have a dreamless sleep. For once, you are fortunate. Your dreams are not nightmares, but memories of the team you once had. The equation sharing, the bad packaged food, the theories, sure those were obvious. But no one else could remember the snowball fights, the abuse of channels filled with bad soap operas. The time you managed to get popcorn in Antarctica and everyone said  _ Mei! Mei!  _ Filled with a joy that stemmed from in the moment admiration. When you wake up, that joy doesn’t stick. It’s too soon for you to find enough fondness in those memories, there’s too much of what Winston called  _ survivor’s guilt  _ and the only place you can feel at peace is when you work. So that is what you do.

  During your lunch break, one you decide to take properly as a reward for the ground you’ve covered, you check your messages. There are comments, as usual, and you reply to every one with as much kindness as they give to you. Then there’s Tracer, and you wonder if she’s solved your puzzle.

**Tracer:** MEI LUV!!!! 

**Tracer:** omg i almst said me luv i mean it works but that was no t the point

**Tracer:** what if i were 2 say...i somehow  got a day off thx to winston who helped me track ur current locaton and that i’m there to bring u soup n kisses would u lov me

**Tracer:** wats the access code i dunno these things the data’s lost!!! >:c

  ….That was two minutes ago. Tracer is here. In the freezing cold. Thoughts ranging from:  _ Oh no what if she’s wearing her regular outfit she might not be used to the weather  _ to:  _ she’s going to die and it’s my stupid fault  _ go through you head as you rush to open the door and pray for the best and try and remember that--

   “Cheers, love! The cavalry’s here, soup delivery included!” Tracer is healthy, smiling in a white winter coat and thick orange pants. Her goggles are snapped on, and she’s smiling with a bag of food and a wave. You can’t believe this is a real day, so you try and act like it is.

   “Tracer! I almost thought you were joking, come in, the heating is on, but if you need it to be warmer just tell me. But for now you sit down, ok? It’s isolated out here.” Tracer steps in, and you shut the door behind her. She gives an overdramatic shivering motion, and you can’t help but laugh as you clean up the space a bit. She sits down right where you were sitting as she puts the soup down on a desk, and you plop down next to her.

   “Alright, I got some bowls if you’re hungry, which I think you are, unless that rumbling was from somethin’ tech.” Her waggling eyebrows quickly switch to a serious expression as she takes a bowl out of the bag, pours you soup, and hands you a spoon in rapid motion. “Ya gotta take care of yourself love, I was worried about ya.”

   You have no idea why until you remember. You updated your journal at five in the morning, and slept at one. Oh.  _ Oh.  _ How could you be so silly sometimes? Worrying her like that, did she come all the way over here to make sure you were okay? You chuckle, and scratch behind your head, signs of guilt and happiness intertwine.

   “Mei, I came here cause I figured out your puzzle, bringing the soup and all was just a recent addition to the plan!  _ I’m  _ the worrier here love,” after you sip some soup, Tracer puts her hand under your chin and kisses you before you can think of a response. You hear her little  _ yes _ , and can’t help but smile in response. She is just too endearing.

   “So, do you have proof of this? I’m not going to say you won just yet!” She laughs at that, and you’re more sure than ever that she’s got you figured out. You’re a bit thrilled about the idea.

   “Love, I don’t have to share  _ now _ , do I? I came here to make sure you caught a break, so I’m going to be an enforcer here. ‘Sides, tomorrow is more than a few hours, and with the two of us, time is  _ definitely  _ on our side Mei!” You don’t realize all the soup is gone until you put down your bowl next to a used, empty one. You don’t remember how warm she feels until the heat radiates from her being onto your covered skin. She looks at you as if she sees potential, and you hope she realizes how much you adore her in these moments. She makes the first move to cup your face, and press her lips to yours. She is the first to close your eyes, and even though you both taste like soup, she has a watermelon lip balm and you have the cold underneath your being and you know you both have more time than you could have ever dreamed of.

   Hours later, she reads your message back to you, tells you Winston is good with code but not Chinese. You call her a cheater, and she knows you don’t mean it. She gives you the message, and you do your best to create poetry in translation. By how starstruck she looks, you think it worked.


End file.
